The text might not be worksafe, so continue at your own risk.

From bash.org:

[JonJonB] Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word “wand” with “wang” in the first Harry Potter Book
[JonJonB] Let’s see the results…

[JonJonB] “Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?” asked Harry.
[JonJonB] “Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an’ everything

[JonJonB] A magic wang… this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

[JonJonB] “Yes, yes. I thought I’d be seeing you soon. Harry Potter.” It wasn’t a question. “You have your mother’s eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work.”
[JonJonB] “Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. ”

[JonJonB] Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

[JonJonB] “Oh, move over,” Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry’s wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, ‘Alohomora!”

[JonJonB] The troll couldn’t feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry’s wang had still been in his hand when he’d jumped – it had gone straight up one of the troll’s nostrils.

[JonJonB] He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

[JonJonB] He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

[JonJonB] Ok
[JonJonB] I have found, definitive proof
[JonJonB] that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
[JonJonB] “Yes,” Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding…. Any second now, he might hear his mother again… but he shouldn’t think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn’t want to… or did he?
[melusine] O_______O
[JonJonB] Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

[JonJonB] Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

[JonJonB] ‘Get – off – me!’ Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.


  1. 2 kimmie-chan
    April 22, 2007 at 10:05 pm


    OMG we’ve all been fooled~!

  2. 3 richaado chan
    August 17, 2008 at 8:53 am

    lmfaooooo hahahahahhahah omg i was red laughing i almost suffocated from that!

  3. March 17, 2009 at 6:12 am

    wow ur a real loser to sit down and think of changing wand to wang for the whole book.

    Get a life.

  4. July 20, 2009 at 10:32 am

    Holy fucking LOL ! Absolutely hilarious ! And Alex, if you don’t like it, just go wang, erm, HANG yourself !

  5. 7 uh huh...
    April 8, 2010 at 10:09 am

    Well OF COURSE if you put “wang” every other word in a sentence it will be taken the wrong way. Whether it was intended as such or not. The fact that you replaced one word with “wang” doesn’t mean that we are being controlled. It just means that you have way too much time on your hands.

    • April 10, 2010 at 1:06 pm

      I agree lol but it was funny to read it :L

    • 9 Hagop
      November 30, 2010 at 1:49 pm

      i TOTALLY agree with you……. J.K. Rowling didnt sit there and think of a way to send a stupid ass “subliminal message” as your calling it, to everyone, and if you havent realized yet, your one of the few that actually sat there and plugged in a bunch of words to make it look perverted. And if you think that your special, because you’ve figured out the “subliminal message” J.K. Rowling “sent” to us. WELL…………………… Your DEFINITELY WRONG. << and this is all to the dimwit that posted this!!!

  6. 10 Olivia
    April 9, 2010 at 3:32 am

    that made my day.
    that is effing hilarious.
    i’m forwarding this link out :]

  7. 11 gail
    April 9, 2010 at 8:04 am

    oh my gosh…. where did u get the idea…. oh my god hilarious!!!


  8. 12 Sally
    April 9, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA I wonder if J.K Rowling stuck in a few bits just to see if we’d notice… To the people getting angry at this person for making this – Chill, its just a joke.

  9. 13 LOL
    April 9, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    HAHAHAHA thats hilarious…….but just because it sounds funny doesn’t mean jk rowling is a dirty woman. I don’t think you’ll ever meet an author with THAT sense of humour. Still good job for making us laugh hahahaha

  10. April 10, 2010 at 5:36 am

    i really like this blog alot

  11. April 12, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    what Chapter and what page and what book?

  12. 16 funnnyyyyyy
    April 12, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  13. 17 riah
    April 13, 2010 at 6:59 am

    i didnt see harry potter’s subliminal message!!!!!! please type it again!!!

  14. 18 i lol
    April 13, 2010 at 6:30 pm

    i know it nt serious and shit and ne retard whu thinks this is 4 real well u r a retard
    but ayye man ur blog is F**IN hilarious and it made my day
    thnx dude 😀

  15. 19 Courtney
    April 16, 2010 at 8:45 am

    I think you’re a wang for even thinking of this. J.K. Rowling is not the dirty one. You are… though it is a little funny(:

  16. 20 Dai
    June 21, 2010 at 12:10 am

    And J.K. Rowling is dirty-minded?

  17. 22 300
    July 26, 2010 at 6:26 am

    dont know if its true or not, silver stuff out of wand, ha that actually fits. weather its real or not i cant say. i cant help but sense some hostillity between ppl wanting to defend a beloved book and those of us who love a good joke hahaha. anyway you might have tooooo much time dude, keep it up though. hahahahaha i cant stop laughing

  18. November 16, 2010 at 3:29 am

    I found many subliminal messages from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Sex and Death Subliminal messages.

    or go to realityintruth’s youtube channel

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